Sometimes I felt lonely deep within my heart. Why human beings are so lonely? With everyone surrounding me, I felt alone and helpless as I found nothing to solace myself, to soothe my feelings. The things I liked, I rejoiced, did not give me pleasure anymore. I just felt abducted. I had a pride that I could fight my battle in my leadership. I didn’t like that my feelings of being happy or unhappy depended on others. But why did it change? Why should I have to depend on him to remain happy for the rest of the day?
I could not concentrate on my work or anything. Whenever I tried to accumulate myself, his face, his eyes and above all his absence shredded my senses, tormenting me in agony. I wished nothing but to keep his eyes alive before my vision, shrouding my singeing senses. I tried to meditate, to keep myself busy, to distract me anyhow, any hobby, any passion anything that could abolish him, erase him from my pages. But nothing worked. I hated my lack of mental resilience. I feel ashamed of myself for my sabotaging behavior.
In the long haul of my life, I will reach nowhere. Why can’t I harness my mind?
But after some days again the vigilance loosened and my sentinels gave way to my insanity again. My determination fell. I took my cozy shelter in his thought.
My eyes tried their best not to reflect the turbulent storm but my body failed to the acting. It started thinning unusually.
“It is your super time and you are losing weight unnecessarily Nandu. You don’t need dieting Baby.” Dipesh remarked in the Video call.
“Are you ok Nandini?” Mom examined scrupulously.
“Are you saving money fasting yourself?” Samir retorted.
Then one day Kausik, a friend of Prasun got me on the bus, “Have you enrolled for zero figure competition di?”
I just frowned, trying to avoid the conversation.
But Kaushik is Kaushik.
“No, di, serious, you are looking sick. Any problem?”
“My brother insisted I buy a scooty for my daily chores in the town. It would save me from long walking. But the problem is I pushed my cart more than I rode it. This is my secret of being slim.” I smiled at my joke and he joined.
The discussion tracked towards the company, model, cost and colour of the scooty.
Hey, I am Munmun, the phoenix fabulist who wants to tell you stories. I love to read stories and I love to weave stories. I feel life is an amalgamation of multiple stories, colourful threads, and threads of pain, pleasure, hope, and hopelessness. We just need to pick those hues and arrange them, knitting them with our own emotions and perception. So let’s celebrate the stories of life.